Ann Patty

Word Count 161

I didn’t wear a veil at my first wedding because of what happened when I went shopping for one with my best friend,  Humphrey, a gay man. He thought I was mad to get married and found the veil shopping ridiculous.  He was a rather wild-looking, long-haired  fellow whom the salesladies figured was my fiance. They approached us warily until I took a short veil from a stand and placed it atop my head.  All three women in the store let out fawning sighs as Humphrey garrumphed and snorted some snuff.  I bought the veil, but could never bring myself to wear it.  

My mother did all the planning for the wedding, back home in California. The only request I made was that my bouquet not include carnations.  As you can see from the photo, she didn’t listen:  my bouquet looked like a cheerleader’s pompom; it was not only mostly carnations, but half of them were spray-painted turquoise. 

Ann is the author of LIVING WITH A DEAD LANGUAGE; My Romance with Latin (Viking/Penguin, 2016) . Her essays have been published in The Wall Street Journal, Linga Franca, Society for Classical Studies, Oprah.com, The Bucket, Publishers’ Weekly, and The Toast.